Confessions of a Twirl Mom Part 2

Confession - I am sometimes too hard on the Princess, especially when it comes to baton twirling.  (Not "TV Dance Mom" style.  Those moms just scare me.)  Sometimes I think that it is because she is so much like me and I want her to feel the excitement of success once she conquers something and then sometimes I think it is because I know that she can do anything she wants if she puts her mind to it.  However, early this fall I learned that there was another reason that I am hard on her that I had not even consciously realized and she and I both learned a valuable lesson.

Twirling at our school's halftime show with the band this past Friday

The Princess had taken a break from twirling this summer but had a local competition Labor Day weekend.  Successfully encouraging her to practice for this competition was nearly impossible.  I  despised being so hard on her and could not figure out why this horrible, vicious cycle was in repeat mode.  Why did I expect so much out of her and why was I getting so frustrated if she couldn't remember a routine?  I would get irritated with her half-hearted attempts, or complete lack of  attempts, to practice and the Princess would become tearfully upset when she didn't receive the praise she had wanted and expected.  Please don't think that I didn't praise her accomplishments.  Of course I praised the Princess, but the problem was that she was overconfident and didn't seem to care if she memorized and perfected her routines.

Before her Aladdin themed dance twirl at competition this past weekend

After a particularly trying session, where I suggested that maybe she should quit baton twirling and/or competitions, Honey gently suggested that this might be a good time to let her fail.  (WHAT?????!?!?!?!?!) This is the same little girl who recently shared that the two things she is scared of are "spiders and failure."

My response was, "But I don't want her to embarrass herself.  It happened to me growing up and it was AWFUL." And then it hit me.  The Princess and I had been playing tug of war.  She thought I was just being mean but I really was trying my hardest to not let her experience the embarrassment I had experienced as a young girl by forgetting my routine in a competition.  I had never forgotten that moment and although I am certain it wasn't nearly as bad as I had remembered it to be, it was a moment etched forever in the "Never ever let this happen again" part of my brain.  I wanted to spare the Princess from that, but know the best way to learn sometimes is from the fall.

With Mama Jane who came with us to the competition

We trudged forward.  I was terrified by her possible 'fall', but ready too.  The Princess did forget nearly every routine, tears were abundant, and it was not a pleasant day at all.  Thank Heavens that my mom, aka Mama Jane, was there to assist in picking up the pieces.  Please know that none of the pictures in this post are from the Labor Day competition.  Those pictures are not pleasant.

Eight weeks later, a different little girl arrived at the next competition.  She was determined, excited, and prepared.  She didn't win everything, but I was the proudest mom when she earned 3rd place out of 9 girls in the 7-9 year old group for solo twirling.  She had a FABULOUS time competing, meeting new girls, and we had so much fun together.

Saturday night, my heart warmed when she told me, "Mom, you are the best mom in the whole world.  Thank you so much for letting me come to the competition.  I had so much fun today." It was the sweetest mother/daughter moment and I will always remember it.

Hope

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